I Believe I Can…
Remember those good old days, when Michael Jordan starred in moves like Space Jam, Space Jam and Space Jam? There was that awesome song by R. Kelly – even more awesome than his Hiding in the Closest, which is an epic series of drama condensed in a song – called I Believe I Can Fly. It won a Grammy, I believe. Anyhow, the ‘in’ thing to do those days was to take that song and then change the lyrics so that it would become extremely hilarious. It’s a tradition that continues even to this day!
Here are some of the beautifully rendered changes to I Believe I Can Fly. Sadly, I can only remember the first verses. Depressing, right?
“I believe I can die,
Just got shot by the FBI,
All I wanted was some chicken wings,
Side order of onion rings~”
The classic version, or at least classic to me. This was the first version that I ever heard, and it’s been with my heart ever since.
“I believe I can cry,
Just caught my woman with another guy,
She kicked me out of my own back door,
I don’t know what I’m living for~”
The first three lines were composed by a friend of mine, and this remains my favorite. I forgot what he used as the fourth line, so I improvised.
“I believe I can fly,
But this cliff seems way to high,
Maybe I’ll just step away,
And try again another day~”
Made this when I was a kid. My first ever. I believed I was witty then. I believe I am witty now, for that matter. But the truth is… I’m not.
“I believe I can fry,
Just got shot by the Fighters Tie,
Got zapped by their laser ray,
On that super secret day~”
You know the one. This one was created when I got caught up in the Star Wars trend. By not really being caught up in it. Hell, the first third movie was in the 70s, and I was born in 88. The third first one was made in the 2000s, and by then I didn’t give a fuck. Seriously, what the hell, George Lucas? Did your mother not teach you to count? Besides, everyone knows that General Grievous would totally own everyone. FUCK THE CANON.
“I believe I can try,
I believe I can try try try,
I am a fucking train,
Thomas is my fucking name~”
On a side note, I don’t like Thomas the Train. TRY TO SHUT UP, FUCKER.
So, what interesting versions of I Believe I Can Fly can YOU find on the net?
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