NINJA DONUT AND SAMURAI FRENCH TOAST!

A LONG LONG TIME AGO, in a Japanese temple, there were three pieces of pastry. One was a donut, another was a french toast and the final one was a baguette. The three pastries lived in harmony – seeing as they were inanimate lumps of dough that was pretty obvious – for a long, long time. Then again, they were pastry, so a long, long time was pretty much a day and a half. Then, it happened.

There was a KABLAM! and a KERSPLAT! and some shit. And suddenly… THE PASTRY WERE ALIVE! THAT’S RIGHT, BITCHES! ALIVE!

NINJA DONUT, SAMURAI FRENCH TOAST AND BABETTE BAGUETTE!

NINJA DONUT, the warrior of justice! Practicing the ancient Japanese art of bushido ninjutsu, Ninja Donut is honorable and devout! Walking the path of the shinobi, he utilizes the traditional Japanese katana to carry out his missions!

SAMURAI FRENCH TOAST, the warrior of justice! Practicing the ancient Japanese art of bushido, the honorable and devout Samurai French Toast is the perfect foil to Ninja Donut! Walking the path of the bushido, he utilizes the traditional Japanese katana to carry out his missions!

AND BABETTE BAGUETTE, the beautiful princess of the Divine Japanese Religion! The love interest of both Ninja Donut and Samurai French Toast, Babette Baguette also happens to be what the Japanese call a GUYJEAN, or something of that like. Cause she’s French. One wonders how a French pastry princess can be a hime-sama of a Japanese religion, but shit happens, right? Oh yeah, that’s what the religion was called. Shito… right?

THEN COMES THE EPIC MOMENT OF DRAMA! TRAGEDY! EPIC BATTLES! Comedy has no place in this epic of epics, as this is pure and simple SERIOUS BUSINESS. After all, the Japanese are all about SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Watch as these two warriors – who are totally different from each other in every way! – battle to the death for the love of Babette Baguette, disregarding the fact that Babette Baguette should be able to choose the man pastry she loves for herself! After all, this is JAPAN! ALL WOMAN ARE GEISHA AND MUST OBEY THE COMMANDS OF THE MAN!

This has been… your Maggeh’s Pastry Moment of the Month.

~ by maggeh on October 14, 2008.